ink the paper.

Sometimes i think about how scary it would be to bring a child into this world. A world where people point fingers, and label you. A world where you sometimes feel like you have no friends or can’t trust anyone. A world where you look in the newspaper and its normal to see murders and robbery. Where people are given such high expectations from their parents, peers, friends, teachers, society, that they have no choice but to succeed or crash. If they succeed, the bar is raised higher and higher, until they have no choice but to crash. I do not want to bring a child into this world, this world that sees war and hate as an ongoing crime. Why would I ever want to bring a child into a world where they are made fun of by being who they are, or are grown up in a society that if they do not agree with the ways of everyone around them, then they are ridiculed. I do not want to bring a child in a world where at any moment a fear of poverty, or death is placed upon them. Where they have to look at other countries and see children their own age not having as much as they do. That their heartbreaks every time when they can’t do anything to change the world, to make it a better place. I do not want my child growing up being brought down by other peoples words and being peer pressured, by having their priorities altered by other children. I dont want to bring a children into this world with the fear that they are never going to be good enough, or that everything they do will never be good enough. 

Sometimes i realize how scary it would be to bring a child into this world. 

let me awaken your soul,
let me let your soul unfold their tucked in wings,
with your wings balancing off mine, you become all that you were capable of,
when i throw you off the roof building, you become more then you are capable of. 
when the musical notes escape your strained throat,
i see you fly higher then ever before.
your soul, magically placed on a cloud, letting you sour the sky with angels.
this is who you are meant to be. 

if only you could see what you mean to me,
if only my words weren’t as clearly sliced up, and were spoken from the heart,
before the stopper was put on my lips, and before my voice choked up. 
before my thoughts turned hazy and my heart lost control,
if only you could see what you mean to me. 

the sharp breathes were enough to slice her soul,
the soul that had become non-existent in the last few hours, days and nights. 
she looked up at him, the tears escaping from her heart and soaking her shirt.
she couldnt do this, not now, not anymore.
she looked up at him, he was sitting in his magnificent throne. 
looking down at her, and what she had become, he let out a pity laugh.
he spat to words “fool” “needy” “not-enough,” over and over again, until it was etched by the wirings of her brain.
she remembered being big and strong, now she was merely a feather stuck in the wrong wind.
she breathed to herself quietly, not letting the pain attack her brain.
she knew that this game, she would not lose, not matter how long it took her to regain her strength that doubled as her dignity. she would not lose.

he looked up at her as she sat on the giant pedestal,
she sat perfectly still, a figure carved in a block of ice.
she made her laugh when he was sad, she added colour to his life when it got dull.
she backed away when he needed space, but ran to him when he called.
in return, he kept her up high, he looked up to her, 
the perfect girl that would always be there but would never be his.
as the weather changed outside, the block of ice started to melt.
that girl slowly felt the pedestal shredded,
and there she was on the ground right beside the boy in red,
and the pedestal was left in ashes.

Every Single Action has a Reaction

She dropped a nickel into the fountain as she wished, she wished for flowers, big, colourful flowers. With a sigh she walked away from the angry water streams shooting up to the sky. 
He walked towards the fountain, looking at it with amazement. When he looked directly in the pool he saw his own reflection; dirty and unclean, but with a huge grin. He reached his hand to touch his face and found his hand reached to the cold bottom of the pool. He grabbed and brought his hand back. Pennies, nickels, and loonies came up in his hand. His eyes grew in amazement, as he got excited that for the first night in a while, he would be able to afford a dinner.

The Perfect Heartbreak

“I’m on top of the world!” Jenny yelled as she jumped up and down.
On the tiny roof of the motel, she felt like she was really on top of the world. She linked arms with her boyfriend and they laid down on the blanket and watched the stars. He turned to look at her. 
“I’m sorry Jenny, I cannot do this anymore, I need my space.” He broke out in short, breathes.
Her head started to spin, why did he bring her up here? Why did he bring her to the most beautiful place just to end it all? The tears started spilling as she imagined life alone. Unable to speak, she knew that she would never have a moment as almost perfect but also as heartbreaking as this. 
She ran to the edge of the roof and looked up at the stars and then looked down at reality as she let go of it all.

i have a present for you, its not wrapped in special paper or pretty bows,
just a simple glass jar.
inside though is something i have been collecting for a couple months now.
for every time you made me smile, for every time you made me laugh,
for every time you hurt me, and every time you broke my heart,
for every time you comforted me, and for every time you lied to me.
each time my heart took another hit, the tears rolled down my face,
they were so precious, because even though they hurt they made me learn a little, and mend my heart.
each drop i collected and put in a jar for you, just so you could look at all the liquid,
and be reminded what the consequences of your actions are.
that before you do something to hurt another person, you realize the effect you have on people.
so i have a present for you, but i dropped the glass before i could give it to you,
and now here i am, in a river of my tears.